The B Plan

I’m really the kind of person who needs to be prepared for all outcomes, and well in advance.  It means I worry about a lot of things that will never happen, but I’m always ready for them when they do.  It’s a virgo thing.

I now have a POA for if this cycle doesn’t work out.  I spent the afternoon checking out Dee’s old blog, and in particular, this post.  I also contacted her on FB and she very kindly phoned me and answered all my questions.  (I ask myself nearly every day, how do people survive IVF without this community?)

The bottom line is that the long protocol is the answer to some people’s egg quality problems.  It may not be the answer for me, but I’ll never know if I don’t try.  My clinic doesn’t like to do the long  protocol, and I don’t know of a clinic in Cape Town that does.

Also, I want a cycle without Cetrotide, and that’s only possible with the long protocol.  So it’s decided, if needs be, my next cycle will be in JHB at Dee’s clinic.  Not sure how I’m going to work out the logistics of that, but it can be done.  In all likelihood, that will also be my last cycle.

After that we’ll start with adoption screening. 

I feel much happier now   My inner control freak is all calm and relaxed.  Maybe even relaxed enough to allow a tiny little smidgen of positivity for this cycle.

On the symptom side of things, oh you know, a bit of cramping here and there.  I tell myself it’s implantation cramping, and the first time it happened my heart started rrrracing.  But in reality it could be anything.  The ol’ ute and ovaries have had a serious bashing in the last few weeks.  Some oestrogen headaches, but then I realised I’m taking the estrapause before I go to bed and when I wake up, and there isn’t an even break in between taking them.  Now I take it when I get home from work and when I wake up.  The estrapause has the week days on it, so it helps me count down to beta day.  A packet is supposed to last a month, but I’ve won the estrapause lottery, I get to finish an entire packet in one week.  I’ve had one very painful gestone injection, and I honestly believe it’s because we had to do it at 5:30 pm (DH had an early start for work) and I hadn’t had a chance to do my yoga nidra CD yet.  It might sound ridiculous, but in general the menopur injections were more painful than the gestone ones.  We’ll see what happens after 15 of them though.  Still trying to keep my words and belief around them positive!

And now I must leave blogland, and write a nasty complaint to my bank for losing the title deed to my flat.  Big avoidance around admin issues the last few days, but it must happen.  Thanks once again for all your support and encouragement!

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