A few days ago I suddenly got the feeling that the work on my adhesions is not done. It’s no good going to all these alternative practitioners and handing over my problems to them, I need to take ownership of this thing if I want it healed. I know it can be done, we’ve all heard of Brandon Bayes healing her tumour the size of a basket ball, and many other similar stories. These are some little adhesions we’re talking about here! But it’s not going to happen while I lie on someone’s therapy bench, I need to get more involved.
I’ve been going for Bowen Therapy and am a big fan. I studied yoga with the lady who does it, and she is very a talented healer. Her own son had a tumour (not malignant) the size of a plum in his lower back. After two unsuccessful treatments in hospital, she took him out and decided to tackle it with a philosophy she had a lot more faith in, natural healing. She worked together with a homeopath and used intense visualisation of the tumour shrinking, each day giving her son something to imagine. And yes, the tumour is gone. Completely.
So I decided that I need some visuals to work with, I needed to find some pictures first of fallopian tubes with adhesions, and then of healthy fallopian tubes. And then suddenly I had a thought, my entire insides are covered in adhesions. Just because I want my fallopian tubes to “perform” doesn’t mean that I should neglect the rest!
Google took me almost instantly to this website. It feels a bit like a godsend, here is someone who is really dealing with the actual problem, the adhesions, and not trying to find a workaround (which is what IVF would be for me). I’m really fascinated by what they are doing, and their stats are great – way better than IVF which is basically 30% each time. I’m especially intrigued by this because I don’t even know where the adhesions are, they could be inside my uterus, which means that even an IVF pregnancy might be rejected as a result. I emailed them, asking if there was any way I could get this treatment or something similar in South Africa.
And the answer was… we get lots of people from overseas, here is more info on what we do. No, nobody in South Africa (or anywhere else in the world) is qualified to do this. Until that moment, the thought of actually making the trip to America had not crossed my mind. The treatment and flights are going to cost as much as two IVF treatments, even though the treatment is relatively cheap for Americans, costing about 1/6th of IVF over there. It’s the exchange rate that is the killjoy. R7.80 for $1.
So now a new possibility has dawned in my mind. I’m seeing pictures of me and the Statue of Liberty (liberty as a symbol of freedom from adhesions, cool huh?), eating donuts in New York, catching one of those yellow cabs. I know it’s cliched, but indulge me (the treatment in fact is in either Iowa, Florida or California, but New York – come on, it has to be done!).
DH does not think this is a good idea. Firstly because it saps our entire IVF fund for 2010, and so I can’t blame him. There is the possibility that I may still need IVF after this treatment. And, as he correctly pointed out, how much of this is about handing over the job to someone else again? I just wish he could see the flicker of hope that I see, the possibility of a whole, healthy, fertile and drug free me. Why can’t he just humour me and entertain the idea for a little while? I love the idea of taking a journey, literally, and coming back to Africa healed.
Maybe this is my journey, it’s about me becoming well again, and I shouldn’t be looking for approval from DH or anyone else. Why do I always do that anyway?