The Big C

This week has been a tough one. A friend of mine was showering last Monday and found a really tiny little knot in her breast. She didn’t think much of it, but since mammograms are free on her medical aid, she decided to get one.

Well you know what’s coming next. The first biopsy showed that the lump was more likely to be a carcinoma than anything else, and yesterday she had the lump and a lymph node removed (to check for spread). Now we are just waiting for a 100% diagnosis and to find out if that node was clear.

Here’s the thing that’s getting to her, not the diagnosis (which is almost certain). Not the radiation treatment that will follow. But the fact that she will be put into menopause for 5 years, and she hasn’t had kids yet. She’s single and she’s been playing with the idea of becoming a single mom for a while. I sat next to her as the doctor delivered those damning words “we don’t recommend that you fall pregnant over the next five years”. The shock went through my body like a lightening bolt, I can’t imagine what it felt like to her.

I have this funny guilty feeling that it should have been me rather. I suppose that’s an automatic response to something like this, it feels unfair that my “planned” life lies ahead of me and absolutely everything in her entire universe just became uncertain. I can’t comfort her with integrity because I can’t begin to imagine where she’s at.

Will you keep her in your prayers?



Filed under Fertililty

7 responses to “The Big C

  1. St. Elsewhere

    Oh my God! It would definitely have a ball of stone sitting in my stomach as well.

    BTW, if they find out that there is no spread, will they still go ahead with the radiation?

    Praying for her, and thank you for letting us send some virtual wishes her way.

  2. The Blessed Barrenness

    My cousin in law, all of 25 years old also got the Big C breast cancer diagnosis this week. It is truly horrifying!
    I will be praying for them both!
    P.S. any chance she’d consider a stim cycle with egg freezing before starting radiation?

  3. That is tragic. I honestly just don’t know why these things happen.

  4. Big YES!! She’ll be in my prayers. Hope it’s non-invasive?

  5. Been thinking of your precious friend so much. I really will pray!… and i’m going to book for a checkup this week as well!

  6. Sam

    News like this always makes one evaluate your own situations more closely doesn’t it? I’ll be praying for her Mash. In a big way. Much love to you all.

  7. So sorry to hear this about your friend. My sister (mid-thirties) got the diagnosis of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma earlier this year; she had a tiny lump removed; as well as some lymph nodes, which were thankfully clear; she still went through chemo and radiation (well, she is almost done radiation) to make sure that it is all gone. The chemo was really hard on her and she regrets doing it but yesterday when I talked to her she was excited her period was trying to start up again and she hasn’t had it for months. I wonder why your friend isn’t supposed to get pregnant for 5 YEARS?! I cannot imagine how tough that would be to hear 😦 I hope things turn out very well for her yet!

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