Perfect Moment Monday

I need to write a PMM because given half a chance I will probably spew a whole lot more anger, at the moment everything is making me angry.

So here goes.  Deep breath in.  Deep breath out.

A strange thing has started happening to me since we started our adoption process.  It started a few weeks ago, we went to meet some friends on the beach and I went to greet my friend’s sister.  She was holding her little boy, he’s about one.  The moment he laid eyes on me, he stretched out his arms for me to pick him up.  I doubt very much he knew who I was, and everyone including myself laughed in surprise.  He then sat on my lap where he fell asleep for about an hour!  It was the most bizarre, heart warming experience.

On Saturday, it happened to me again, we were walking on the promenade in Seapoint, my mom, DH and I.  A little guy was crawling around people’s legs with his mom in tow.  He looked up and spotted me from about four meters away and made a beeline for me.  I picked him up and he snuggled right into my arms, placing his head on my shoulder.  I chatted to his mom for a bit, and she tried to take him back, but he started screaming.  So I carried on holding him for a bit longer, he really was very reluctant to leave.

I don’t believe so much that I’m terribly appealing to babies, I actually believe that they can sense something and it’s their way of comforting me.  They are giving, not receiving love in that moment, and it’s a reminder to me that these little ones are far more clever than we know.

In December, my sister gave me her manual breastpump.  Just for the hell of it, I started pumping to see what would happen, and was amazed that right from day one, I started producing a tiny bit of clear fluid (we’re talking like a drop).  I wasn’t so great at doing it on a daily basis, but the fluid slowly started to change colour and become slightly opaque.  On the night after the little boy fell asleep in my arms, I actually produced a stream of whitish droplets.  It was the most incredible feeling that one tiny part of my built in baby sustaining equipment works.

The novelty has since worn off, after all it could still be years before our adoption goes through and the anticipation is already driving me batshit crazy as it is.  Maybe when this funk lifts a little, I’ll go and see a lactation consultant.  Then again, maybe I won’t!

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Perfect Moment Monday

  1. Beautiful moments! I saw go for it if you want to, but don’t put yourself under too much pressure.

    I’m really hoping that you get that call soon. Really Really Really!
    Xxxx

  2. Absolutely perfect moments indeed! Makes me smile so big 🙂

  3. Way to go, Baby Whisperer! How wonderful that babies respond to you so well.

    And that your body responds to lactation so well! Wishing you the best on your journey to family. Thanks for joining in Perfect Moment Mondays.

  4. Wow – what a beautiful story. Kids sure are impressive. I’m glad that see you as a trustable, comfortable person to comfort (and/or be comforted by!)

  5. Yay on the milk production …. I am seriously considering it for our next adoption !!
    Hope you get THE call soon !!

  6. Love this! I agree, those babies are clever, they know when their love is what is needed. I lost my baby girl 2 years ago at 16 months. She had Down Syndrome. My friends baby girl also has DS and is the same age my baby would have been. I swear she knows when I just need some lovin and she comes through each time. I can’t tell you the peace it puts in my heart, if only for a moment. Much love to you on your journey!

  7. Isn’t it amazing how open and free a child is…they feel something and they act on it….no games, no life conditioning

  8. Cam

    What magical moments Mash xxxx I hope every day that you get the call. You. Need. To, Be. A. Mommy. You’ll be great. And if you can breastfeed, awesome! Lots love, Cam

  9. I love these perfect moments and got chills reading about them! These words especially moved me:

    “I actually believe that they can sense something and it’s their way of comforting me. They are giving, not receiving love in that moment, and it’s a reminder to me that these little ones are far more clever than we know.”

    I really like your perspective on why those babies felt drawn to you and it seems that you were able to receive the comfort they had to give you.

    Wishing you the best on your adoption journey and “patient optimism,” as my brother-in-law used to say, when my sister and he were waiting to be matched to adopt their children.

  10. St. Elsewhere

    I am glad for the both the babies, who touched your hands and your heart so warmly. I am pleased to know of the comfort that they brought.

    Babies do have a sense, and I can tell you that mine too does not reciprocate with everyone we meet in a day. It has to take an extra inch of something that can’t be put on.

    Am hoping your little one will come to you soon.

    Awesome bit on the breast milk production.

  11. Echoing Cam’s message above…. you are going to be the MOST wonderful mother… and I cannot wait to witness it! And witness it, I will!

    Amazing re the signs of milk – how wonderful to at least know that it is a possibility 🙂

    Big loves xxxx

  12. They say there’s a strong connection between our body and mind.
    Wishing you every luck there is needed in your journey to parenthood.

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