Life has handed me a few lemons you might say. A near death experience, a family member murdered, and now fertility issues.
But that’s what life is about, overcoming challenges. I have learned and grown so much. I have tasted such sharp contrasts in my life. I have learned that really, we have no control over our lives at all.
All we have, is this short little timespan that we are given, with a whole lot of obstacles along the way, and some freedom of choice in how we deal with them. It’s like a game. There are no right or wrong choices, only choices made out of love and choices made out of fear.
The powerful choice is the one of surrender. The universe deals your cards, and you can find joy in even the most terrible adversity. Gratitude is the tool that can help you survive anything. That’s how I eventually managed to start sleeping again after my Dad’s murder, by making myself list 5 things every night that I was grateful for. And I had so much to be grateful for – a wonderful childhood, a great family and don’t forget the small things – food on the table and warm clothes.
I’m grateful for the pain I have felt through these adversities. Because at 36, I have lived a full life. I am grateful because it sure beats sitting on a couch in front of TV for years on end. It’s a gift, pain and suffering. Because believe it or not, it makes you feel alive.
It’s so beautifully designed to give clarity in your life. I’m so much clearer on what I do and don’t want. I have so much more passion for things than before. I’m determined to make my life count. I’m much more likely to do things I’ve always wanted to do, dive straight in rather than leave it on the list for the future some day.
Although 2 or maybe 3 evil men took my father’s life, 100’s of people rallied around to support us. You will never truly understand the beauty of the human soul until you see how some people help others in times of suffering. I feel greatly blessed to have been a witness and a recipient of this. The tiniest gestures are sometimes so carefully considered. One of my sister’s friends from university years ago, turned up on my mom’s doorstep out of the blue with a health spa gift voucher for her. It touched me so deeply!
Of course I would love to have my Dad back. Of course I would love to cuddle my own little baby in my arms. But right now, those things aren’t my lot in life.
And there’s a lot of peace in acceptance.